As you guys already know by now via my Instagram posts, posts here on the blog, the news, the Weather Channel, your friendly neighborhood carrier pigeon, etc., it’s pretty darn hot here in Phoenix right now. Have I mentioned that it’s hot? And I apologize for what probably seems like an overload of complaints about the heat – that’s just unbecoming of a lady such as myself! I must seem so ungrateful for all of the perfectly sunshine-y days that I’m so lucky to enjoy from December to April when everyone else is suffering through an endless winter, but my only excuse is that I find it cathartic to publicly express my dislike for the sweltering summer temps here. It’s a personal preservation thing, and I promise that come November I’ll be back to singing this valley’s praises!
Zara Shorts, Loft Top, J.Crew Sunglasses, Sandals (Sold Out, Similar Here & Here)
The reason I bring this up is not to complain yet again, but to note that while the temps are still pretty hot, we’ve been tip toeing our way into monsoon season, and I really do love this time of year! It’s the one redeeming quality about summer here – we finally get some serious rain and those rains help those brutal temps take a turn toward the double instead of triple digits. However the most recent monsoon meant that the next morning post rain was not only hotter than hell’s pepper patch, but also sticky. A new problem in our typically dry climate.
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Despite what my complaining may indicate, I think I’ve acclimated to the sweltering summers quite well at this point and can actually survive in dresses, tanks and even jeans for the most part. But when our kind of heat is also paired with the humidity, there’s only one thing to do and I consider it “going to my dark place” and that is… wear shorts.
I’m going to be totally honest here and tell you guys that I really, really don’t love to wear shorts unless they’re running shorts. Nikes for life! I’m not sure where my disdain for wearing shorts comes from, I just don’t find them flattering on my figure. You can call it ridiculous given the climate here, but is it at all possible that I’m not alone in feeling like shorts are just kind of… meh? They’re pretty much a last resort in my closet once summer hits and I’m hoping that I’m not the biggest weirdo ever and that some of my fellow ladies and fashion lovers out there struggle with shorts too.
Despite all that, I do see women wearing adorable, flattering shorts all summer long so I know they’re out there somewhere… at least for some people, and it makes sense. It’s a sensible style in this kind of weather! But in recent seasons, I think that my biggest hurdle in overcoming my aversion to shorts is that the cuts that are “on trend” right now just aren’t my jam. Either they fit around my waist but strangle my thighs, or the hem is way too long to be flattering or way, way way too short to be any kind of acceptable in public places. And that last point is a big one because with growing and unsettling frequency I see a rogue butt cheek popping out of a high-waisted denim short right in front of my face when I’m just trying to grab a latte at my friendly neighborhood coffee shop. And it freaks me out. And then I immediately become an 85 year old woman and grab my cane and start shaking it in the air while screaming, “Does your mother know you’re wearing that young lady” and then I go cry in the bathroom because any ounce of cool that was left in me is gone.
I’m not sure if there’s some “Free the Buns” movement happening that I don’t know about and if there is then hey, power to the people and all that, but while contemplating if this was a trend that I somehow needed to jump on Hamlet slapped me across the face with his paw and said, “Girl, no.” And that was the end of that.
But as is the case with any of my anxieties or fears, I simply needed to dive in head first and expose myself to the problem repeatedly, and with more exposure comes acceptance, and with acceptance comes… shorts. I decided to take a deep dive into the world of shorts and find those diamonds in the rough by trying them on, in actual brick and mortar stores, and see what worked and what I realized was that I had a sweet spot where my disdain for this summer style staple turned to like and even love in some cases. And that sweet spot was when hem length and hem style, the size of the leg opening, fabric, color or print, and usually some sort of expandable waistband situation joined hands and made sweet shorts magic happen.
Much to my shock and surprise, I walked away with a couple of winners like these embroidered beauties from Zara that I’m pretty sure could also double as pajamas. And I’m into it. These pics were also taken super early in the morning this weekend when it was a little bit cooler and Hamlet got to finally emerge from his lair for five seconds of fresh air before hiding out back inside in The AC. It was a fun albeit brief adventure.
So if you, like me, struggle with those bun-baring shorts styles that have ever so aggressively taken over the style scene lately, but feel like you need some shorts in your life for practical purposes, have no fear – we can walk this journey together, friends!
I rounded up some styles from around the web and some that I saw in stores and loved and all of them should not only keep those buns where they belong (which is inside, rather than outside said shorts), but keep you cool and looking cute, too!
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